#151 - The Power of the Pause: Finding Clarity in the Chaos

INTRO TIME!
Hey there, badasses! It’s been a minute… actually, since July 3rd. Life, family, and business hit me all at once, and I had to hit the brakes. But here’s the thing—pausing isn’t quitting. It’s protecting your energy so you can show up for what matters most.

In this episode, I’m opening up about why I pressed pause, what it taught me, and how YOU can give yourself the same permission when life gets chaotic. Whether you’re running a service-based business or balancing a million life demands, this conversation will help you see “the pause” as a strategic power move—not a setback.

💥 In this episode, we cover:

• Why stepping back is NOT a sign of weakness
• How to identify when your “plate” is overflowing
• Setting boundaries without guilt (yes, no is a complete sentence!)
• The importance of defining your “pause” timeline
• How to create a comeback plan that feels exciting, not overwhelming
• Navigating seasons of life + business without burning out

💡 This episode is perfect for you if…

• You’re a female entrepreneur feeling stretched too thin
• You want to avoid burnout but still move your business forward
• You’re ready to prioritize mental health, family, and joy
• You need permission to slow down—without losing momentum

Remember: Pausing doesn’t mean you’re lazy, uncommitted, or failing. It means you’re smart enough to protect your peace, your energy, and your dreams so you can come back swinging.

Affirmations from this episode:

•  “I have the right to set things down without guilt.” 
•  “Pausing isn’t quitting. It’s protecting my energy for what matters most.” 
•   “Every season of my life has value—even the slow ones.” 
•   “I come back stronger because I give myself space to breathe.” 
•  “My worth isn’t measured by my productivity.” 
•   “Rest is part of my strategy for success.” 

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Transcript

Tanya Wilson (00:02.232)
Hey there, badasses. my gosh, it feels so good to say that. Totally back in the studio this week. Well, studio, I'm gonna start this off a little bit earlier than going into the studio because I am bringing this to you from standing in my bedroom. Because when you feel like you need to show up, you should just show the fuck up, right? And I haven't been here for a while.

And we have some excellent new episodes that are coming out. And I just really wanted to jump in for a quickie episode today and really talk about the reasons why, why we took a break. The last time we hung out was July 3rd, which in podcast years feels like an eternity. I have missed the space. I have missed you. I have missed these real conversations that we get to have every week, but here's the thing.

I also needed to step back for a bit. Life kind of smacked me right between the eyeballs. There was so much going on at work. My kids were out for summer vacation. We were trying to actually take a vacation this year. Lots of stuff going on and lots of changes happening internally with our family. Different people coming in and out of the business and

I just felt like I couldn't handle it all or handle it well. And so I had to press pause. So thank you for allowing me that time, but I'm so glad to be back here with you. But I wanted to talk today about why pressing pause really isn't a sign of weakness. I've really been battling that this summer because I feel like I'm letting everybody down because I'm not showing up consistently.

And it's actually one of the smartest, most badass things that we can do for ourselves when life starts throwing us more than we can handle. Or that we really should carry. If you've been feeling completely overwhelmed, like you just feel like things are going to explode, it's time to stop. Take out a journal or a notebook and just simply start writing down what's all the shit you're responsible for and how can you better prioritize that?

Tanya Wilson (02:19.948)
so that you feel like you can still breathe and sleep and have regular blood pressure. If you know, you know, you know. If you're anything like me, you've really been trained, whether by yourself, because we do this shit to ourselves, ladies, we know it, by society, by people in your family, by business culture, by Instagram or TikTok to just keep going.

Keep producing, keep showing up, keep smiling, and we should. We should do all that shit. But we shouldn't do it at the cost of our own mental health and our own physical health and what our own emotional health is feeling like. You can continue to keep going and going and going, and that works until it doesn't.

I just hit a point this summer where I looked at my plate and I realized it wasn't even a plate anymore. It was like one of those huge ass Thanksgiving platters, you know? It was stacked up, there were shit spilling off, like things that were touching should not be touching each other, you know, that kind of platter. And I knew that if I tried to add one more thing.

I was going to drop the platter and it was going to crash. And the platter was me. The platter was my brain. The platter was my spirit. I didn't want to crash. So I had to take a break. So I did what I just challenged you to do. And I sat down and I was like, look at all of these beautiful opportunities I have in my life, because I really don't like to make checklists of, my gosh, I have to do this.

This life that I live is something I only dreamed about just a few short years ago. They're blessings, but what blessings do I really need to pay the most attention to right now?

Tanya Wilson (04:21.74)
When I really looked at the list of things, I realized there was a few things that I needed to set down. Not forever, just for a small little season. And that's what I wanted to remind you of today. You're allowed to set things down. Put them in the parking lot. We've talked about that so many times. I have a notebook full of badass ideas that I want to do someday that I'm sure lots of you would love that I would love to be a part of, but it just doesn't make sense right now for my time.

I know that I can't show up at my highest level self at those things I want to do in the future. And so I'm going to save them until I can.

It doesn't make you lazy, uncommitted or flaky if you decide to hit pause on something for a little while. It really doesn't. So many of us entrepreneurial women, I think we go, go, go, go, go because somewhere deep inside of us, there's this value metric that is attached to what we're accomplishing every day or what we achieve. And babe, you're worthy just the way you are.

If you want to get up and you want to hang out in your PJs and do social media content or just watch movies with your kids all day, do it. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. You just have to continue to keep showing up the best you can for yourself. And sometimes that is slowing down. And I know that's really hard for a lot of us. I know it is for me, but pausing isn't quitting. It's protecting your energy for what matters most.

right now. You know, there's really a lot of different seasons that happen in our lives. It's not just the four seasons. It's not necessarily exactly like the seasons in your business. There can be little blips of things that sometimes something can knock us off a little bit, maybe financially. And that might set us back for a few months, but then we're able to regain that confidence and regain the money and we're back to where we were before.

Tanya Wilson (06:28.172)
Sometimes shit happens in our family. Maybe there's something terrible that happens to where you lose a loved one. Maybe you have a breakup. Maybe you have a breakup with a friend. And it really takes you out emotionally and mentally for a little while. It's okay to understand that you don't have to be on your A game every day.

all day long. That's not even possible. That's literally chasing perfection. No one wants something that's perfect. I fucked up in this podcast recording already in seven minutes that I'm like, my gosh, I should just stop and re-record this. But we don't do that here. We just show up and we're as honest and truthful as we can be. And even sometimes that might mean that we stumble over our words a little bit, right?

We just keep showing up the best that we can for the capacity that we have that day and in that season. Life and businesses have seasons. They grow, they maintain, they rest. Do you know that a farmer after it plants a certain crop will plant other crops to help replenish the soil before it plants the crop that it intended to grow in that place in the first place?

Sometimes we need to clear the field and we need to plant something in place of where we would normally be growing what we want to grow so that we can come back bigger and stronger. This summer was a rest and protect season for me. My kids needed a lot more of me and my attention this summer. We've got a lot of things going on right now and we just, really wanted to be there for my kids.

I also realize more than ever, like my daughter is a junior in high school this year. My son just went into junior high. I don't have that many summers left with my babies. And my intention moving forward is that every summer is a slow down. Every summer is that time that I get to spend with them, quality time I get to spend with them. And they're old enough now, it's fun as hell to take them on trips, to go do stuff.

Tanya Wilson (08:48.984)
The three of us went to Wyoming for a week and we had the best time. Great conversations on road trips, so much fun in the rain and the lake and just out on the boat and just being in nature. It's so fun. And they're getting old enough now that you can do activities that you both really enjoy doing. And it's so much fun.

Tanya Wilson (09:15.276)
You can really step back and the world won't end. That's the lesson I want you to take from this quick little podcast. The business isn't going to collapse if you need to take a couple of days and get yourself together. If there's important things that need to be done during the business, assign it to someone. Allow someone else to help you do it so that you can take the time that you need to be able to do that.

Now I know the word pause can make some of you break out in hives and thinking like, I could never pause my business or it's only me or I run a service company so I can't take time off. But if you ever find yourself in that overloaded, can't breathe, can't think state, like you feel like a panic attack is coming on, when you feel that in real life, holy fuck, it seriously feels like the walls are collapsing in around you. I know I've had several of them.

We don't ever want you to feel that way. Success is never gonna be sweet if you get there feeling like the walls are collapsing in on you.

Here's how I recommend doing it intentionally. Check your priorities, write them down, get a journal, let's do it now. Ask yourself what actually matters to me right now, not forever, but just right now. And define what right now is for you. Is it this month? Is it this week? Is it this summer?

You gotta figure that out.

Tanya Wilson (10:48.64)
I know for a lot of you, myself included, that when I know what the timeline looks like a little bit or how much time I'm going to give myself to be in that space, I'm a lot more reassured that I'm going to be able to get back to the things that I'm going to set down for a little bit. I think that lessens some of the anxiety around setting it down. And if it has to be set down and there's other people that that affects, you can very warmly communicate that to them.

So define a timeline for yourself. I think that's really important part of this and set boundaries. Give yourself permission to say not now without guilt. We've talked about this so many times. No is a complete sentence. And if you don't have some white space in your calendar, then you need to go create some like, just push pause and go do that right now. You need to lean into your circle. Let people help you do. You do not have to be the strong one all the time.

Let that one sink in for a minute. I'm telling myself that as I'm recording this podcast, looking at myself in the screen, you don't have to be the strong one all the time. I have the most incredible group of women around me and men, but I love my girlfriends and I love being able to be super vulnerable with them and even tell them really stupid shit I do or think, and they don't judge me for that. They actually kind of tell me that I'm normal.

that I feel that way, and they help me navigate it. Ask for advice. It's amazing.

Stay connected in very small ways, even if you're not at 100%. Make sure that you are checking in on those little things that you sat down for a little bit. You can post a quick little update if it's something that perhaps you had to sit down that is forward-facing to people. Let everybody know that you're there. Let everybody know if you're comfortable with it, that you need to take a little break.

Tanya Wilson (12:56.94)
I wish I would have been better at communicating that with all of you wonderful listeners before, you know, you just kind of disappear. It's like people get it when you say, look, I got to take a break for a little bit. It's for my own health. And I got a lot of things going on over here. I appreciate your support while I get through this. There's so much power in being able to say that to people. And then as you are reaching the end of the little break that you want to take for yourself,

Have a comeback plan. I didn't have shit for a comeback plan until I started sitting down and I was like, okay, I got to get back at this this morning. So how, how am I going to do this? What is the comeback plan? What does this look like? Well, I'm going to record a podcast and I'm to talk about how important this is because I can't be the only one that feels this way. And that's the premise of this podcast in the first place. You know, you can't be the only one that feels this way. So talk about it. Talk about that rough shit.

Talk about how, you know what, I just didn't have it in my body and my brain and my heart and my soul to show up here for the last couple of months. It's been a really trying time. But now I feel like I'm in a path where I know where I'm going. And it's really exciting, actually. It's gonna be a new chapter. And I feel confident in being able to show up as my best self here.

for this amazing community and be able to tell you that if you're feeling the way that I felt in the last few months, you're not alone. And here is a picture of what it looks like to be able to set something down and be able to come back to it. If it's for you, it will be there for you when you're ready to get back after it again. And I know this podcast is important to a lot of you.

and I want to thank you for being such an amazing community. I appreciate everything that y'all do to spread love and support to each other as service business providers.

Tanya Wilson (15:14.144)
I just feel, had to take a moment there. Got a little bit emotional in this exact moment. Just being back on this microphone, even though I'm not dolled up for the studio, I'm literally standing here in a tank top shorts and my hair's in a ratty ponytail and I have no makeup on and I'm just getting my Sunday done. That I'm coming back to this community with a lot more clarity.

A lot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders in the last couple of months and I feel lighter. I feel like the grit that I embrace so much is grittier. And honestly, there's just a lot more joy inside of me of all the beautiful things that I plan on bringing to this community within the next year. I've got some incredible guests lined up, some new topics I know you're going to love.

and a deeper commitment to making this podcast your favorite place to get inspired, laugh, and remember that you're not doing this live for this business thing alone. Never. I'd love more than anything in closing here to hear from you. What season are you in right now? Are you in full on fucking hustling mode? If so, how can we support you?

We'd love to support your business. And if you're in that reflective season, are you pushing pause? Is your platter too full and you feel like you're gonna explode? Reach out, I'd love to support you during that transition. Remember no season lasts forever.

None of them. They always transition beautifully into the next thing that's supposed to happen. I'm a girl from Wyoming. When it's fucking 30 below zero in January, you're like, I'm never going to see the grass or a flower again.

Tanya Wilson (17:17.656)
But what's happening during that time is, although it's cold as hell and there's snow everywhere, that water will eventually be used to make everything become green again. And it's really, really cool that sometimes during those winter seasons of our lives, some of the most amazing things bloom directly afterwards. Remember that. And until next time, ladies,

own the hell out of your dreams and keep kicking ass.